Anticipation (Alienation?)

Week 9 (almost).

As we anxiously anticipate our fist official visit to the baby doctor this afternoon, I’ve decided that things would be perhaps simpler if Wifey had only waited another week or two to pee on that damn EPT.

For most people, the early pregnancy “schedule” looks somewhat like this:

  • Miss period
  • Panic for (approx.) one week
  • Take pregnancy test
  • Freak out
  • Take second pregnancy test
  • Laugh / Cry
  • Purchase What to Expect When You’re Expecting
  • Schedule OB/GYN appointment for 6-8 weeks

Now, generally by the end of this process, you’re already somewhere in week 6, which leaves just a week or two of anxiety before that first Doctor’s visit, where you get to hear your child’s heartbeat and lay most of your early fears to rest.

However, our agenda more closely resembled the following:

  • Take EPT test(s) one week BEFORE period
  • Laugh / Cry / Etc.
  • Schedule OB/GYN appt (for week 8, day 6, due to availability)
  • Watch Wifey be obviously, visibly, happily preggers
  • Twiddle thumbs and struggle like hell to stay silent – and balanced – for more than a month

Not to be redundant after last week’s post, but the waiting – and keeping silent – really, really sucks. On top of which, as the man in the equation, there’s a certain sense of alienation that starts to set in at about this point as you watch your wife undergo emotional and physical changes that you can really do bupkus about other than bear witness to – and try to comment on as LITTLE as possible. (Some of these changes are pretty awesome – wink, wink – while others are slightly less so).

This feeling apparently comes with the territory. However – according to friends and my favorite new iPhone app “m Pregnancy,” (as well as required reading material Dude, You’re Gonna be a Dad) – it may dissipate somewhat when you see the ultrasound and hear your baby’s heartbeat. In other words, when you first come face to face with the little bugger who is inevitably going to sideline you in your own marriage over the coming months and years.

So yes, all of this is happening today.

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