I’ll be honest – we haven’t really slept in weeks. Just when things started to get fun around here Little Dude had a change of heart and his brief oasis of sleeping through the night deteriorated into screams that we interpret as, “screw this shit, parents, sleep is for wussies!”
Waking up every two hours all night makes things difficult: writing a blog, being civil to one’s spouse, exercising patience with one’s child (who is, after all, the root of the issue). And while one might think that a nice evening out would provide a certain sense of relief, we’ve quickly learned that it only serves to worsen the effects of sleep deprivation.
So when this weekend rolled around we decided to try something new: an afternoon date. We dropped the mini man off with his grandparents and headed to the movies, figuring that matinee pricing was a pretty fair deal for a two-hour nap. (What we really wanted to do, of course, was come right home and rest in silence for the rest of the day. We resisted this idea for practical reasons rather than romantic ones: we would have wasted more than an hour of valuable sleep time on the road).
As we got off the highway, we considered attempting to negotiate an hourly rate at the local Ramada. But we didn’t want to give off the wrong vibe – after all, the idea of parents of a four month-old having sex is just as ridiculous as the concept of us sleeping through the night. So we continued on to the cineplex (although I do think that there’s a great business idea in there for somebody – rentable sleep pods for new parents, anybody??)
What we hadn’t counted on was that the movie we chose to see – The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – might turn out to spectacularly awesome. At the end of the day we exited the theater no more rested than when we walked in, albeit with a newfound respect for Ben Stiller (on my end). However, beautiful filmmaking doesn’t help us catch up on sleep. Maybe we should’ve gone to see The Nut Job, after all.